Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Go easy on yourself

I'm a perfectionist by nature. I often feel that if I don't do something right, there's no point to doing it at all.

Now that I'm a Mom, this mentality tends to rear its head when it comes to day-to-day tasks - dishes, laundry, sweeping, etc. If I don't keep things up regularly (and efficiently), I often feel that I'm falling behind and things are getting out of control. I watch Hoarders and wonder, what is the tipping point? Many of the so-called hoarders are really just people who have lost the desire and/or ability to keep the house in order.

Efficiency is a big thing for me these days. Doing more in shorter periods of time, doing two things concurrently, etc. I've made improvements in this area which I'm hapy about, but some days I'm slower, more forgetful, sluggish, etc. and then I have the tendency to berate myself for not being on-the-ball.

My Mom often reminds me that I don't have to be a perfect mom - that there's no such thing. But this is something I need to remind *myself* more often!

I woke up this morning with a foggy head and slight headache which progressed to a full-blown migraine by early afternoon. I had a zillion things I wanted to do during S's nap, but instead I actually followed the age-old advice and slept while baby slept. I woke up still feeling somewhat foggy, but significantly better. And then I allowed myself to take it easy the rest of the day. Sure, I still had S to take care of, dinner to make, dishes to do, etc. - but my wonderful and intuitive husband was right there by my side helping out, and I didn't set any stardards for myself in terms of how long each task should take and how many "extra things" I felt I needed to accomplish on top of the regular stuff.

I decided to go easy on myself. I don't do this often, but it feels good when I do. I know I'm not going to turn into a hoarder or lose my motivations overnight. Quite the opposite, in fact; this sort of downtime is important in order to recharge and continue to be better in the long run.

Oh, and I didn't (really) think too much about grammar and flow in this blog post. So if it's choppy or a little incoherent, that's why. And I'm not going to worry about that either. ;)

So what about you? Do you need to remind yourself to go easy as well? Is there any other advice you give yourself from time to time to help you stay balanced?


  1. Very well put honey, happy you are taking myadvice to heart :)

  2. Yeah, I have a hard time with that. My newest is almost 2 weeks old and tLeah is the first day we didn't get dressed and go out before lunch. It felt great. but then I look around at the house and the due library books and the crusts of bread left and wonder if I should have forced more out. I need to remember this, to cut myself some slack every now and then. Thanks!

  3. Wow Krystina! I don't think we got dressed and went out before noon ONCE before our daughter was 2 weeks old! :) You definitely need to cut yourself some slack, Mama - you are incredible!

  4. I agree, I definitely need to be easier n myself! This was a great post! Hope you are feeling better!

  5. I used to be like that too (and was having a hard time balancing everything) until someone gave me some advice that really resonated with me: make relationships your first priority. This was especially key when I went back to work and no longer had naptime to do all those little chores around the house. Sure, the dishes need to be done, but my priority right now is my family so sometimes the laundry doesn't get put away for a couple of days because I'm giving Sam my time when we are home together in the evenings, or I don't get the blue box sorted that week because I chose to spend some time with my husband when the wee one's in bed. We've also made Sundays 'family day' in our house- whatever weekend chores that haven't been done are left for the next week and we go out and do something together. Yeah, sometimes it means we go another week without dusting, but we're far from living in squalor and another week isn't going to kill anyone! It's like at work- you put some things on the back-burner to concentrate on those tasks that are a high priority. Why is it in our professional lives we consider prioritization a valuable skill but at home suddenly forget everything we know about it? :)

  6. Thanks Danielle!

    @Shara - thanks so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. I'll be in your boat (i.e. working w/ kids) very soon so I really appreciate your advice! I especially like the idea of Sunday family days. Sounds like you guys have found a great rhythm & balance so kudos on that! :)

  7. Easy on myself? Ugh, I am so guilty of not doing that. My list is always a million miles long...just like today. I am miserably sick, and have a canning pumpkins, washing diapers, sewing Etsy orders, blog reviews to post, and gobs of other things to do. Going to "try" and rest, cuddle with my children, and let go of my perfectionist attitude though....pray for me! lol

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